Recovery Requires Accountability on Both Sides of the Door

In 2021, Authority Magazine asked how I define leadership. Five years later, those principles still guide me, but my understanding of how to apply them has evolved.

Lead by example

In my experience good leadership requires leading by example. If you don't walk the walk, why should those who choose to be led by you do the same. At Awakening Recovery, whether you are a resident, alumnus, staff member, or Executive Director like me, there is a cultural norm that everyone is open to being held accountable and taking personal responsibility for their actions.

If a resident with one day in the house comes to me and wants to ask if I put a recyclable in the non-recyclable trash, it is perfectly acceptable for them to do so, and it is my responsibility to take the time to engage them in a way that has integrity and demonstrates that even in the little things accountability matters.

A return to use in an abstinence-based recovery home is a much bigger test. Immediate safety of the house comes first, and emergency assistance (although very rare) or an assessment by a qualified outside referral clinician may be needed. Sometimes a resident needs to be referred to a higher level of care or another organization that better fits their stated needs. Some decisions can feel challenging even when they are necessary.

The miracle is in the pause

I need to be willing to hear others from their perspective before responding. This is a mantra in the house with residents, but I have found that if I really listen to the person I'm in a conversation with from their perspective first, without judgment, I'm in a much better position for them to feel heard and for me to be open-minded to a new perspective I haven't fully considered.

There are many times with my team, especially when I have a lot on my plate at the moment, that I want to quickly solve a problem and move on. However, if I take the time in the moment to give my full attention and actively listen first, and genuinely show interest in what they need from me, I don't miss an opportunity to connect with them and understand their approach, which is most beneficial for them and our organization.

That pause belongs after a difficult resident exit too. I believe our recovery homes should review whether its agreement with the resident was understood and applied consistently, how the person was treated and treated those in our recovery home, and how the next connection and our community were useful.

We cannot make somebody follow through. We can do the work to meet someone half way, gauge their willingness to meet us there, and then see if they take consistent action going forward to continue to build their recovery foundation, even if sometimes it is two steps forward and one back.

Act on what we learn

As anyone who has been involved in creating a startup nonprofit organization can tell you, it is filled with mistakes, trials by fire, and tribulations as well as triumphs. I believe that God is less concerned with us falling down, than how we get back up and that we get back up. One of my most memorable shortcomings in our first year of operations was trying to balance taking the time to take residents to court and probation myself while building and operating a nonprofit from the ground up.

I was very invested in taking as many residents as possible to their court and probation appointments as an opportunity to help them at a crucial inflection point and to be able to enable them to stay in our house as an alternative to incarceration. While this was an altruistic endeavor, where some of my best memories of getting to know new residents took place, it has also become over the years a great opportunity for our alumni and staff to make those same connections with our new residents, the courts and probation departments, as our organization continues to grow.

It is most beneficial for leadership to not review a difficult event alone. Input from people directly involved or affected can help when appropriate, while the resident's circumstances and privacy remain in our safe incubator. Awakening Recovery provides long-term, abstinence-based recovery housing, peer support, structure and referrals through a dynamic nonclinical process that generally takes over a year to achieve the goal of graduation.

Medical, dental, mental health and medication decisions are made by each resident in consultation with appropriately licensed clinicians in care coordination with our staff. I believe that stable housing with clear expectations and strong incentives to engage in abstinence-based help can give someone more time to build a recovery foundation instead of cycling back to the street, jail or an ER.

A recent NIAAA-funded qualitative study of sober living residents reported that “residents identified ways the structure and operations of the houses facilitated recovery, including accountability and improved interpersonal functioning.”

Act your way into right thinking is a powerful tool in early recovery. Our intentions mean little if they are not accompanied by consistent right action, and integrity is doing the right thing when no one is around to witness it. However, eventually and authentically valuing a built recovery foundation is essential to sustainable recovery.

It is definitely progress not perfection, but as long as I'm willing to continue to seek and improve my ability to act better than I feel through accessing God, my support group and working through adversity, I'm not just knowing the path, I'm walking the path in the right direction for myself and our organization.

If we ask residents to take an honest inventory, inviting God into the situation, and act on what they learn, those of us trusted with the recovery home environment serve our community best to keep doing the same.