Growing up I was a seeker and had a sense of a Higher Power that today I choose to call God. As I experienced my childhood and adolescent years, however, I lost most of that hope and faith in the face of trauma and engaging in my active drug addiction and alcoholism. As I eventually “hit bottom” in my alcoholism/addiction, regularly putting myself in life threatening and demoralizing situations to get high, I wasn’t so much afraid of dying as of continuing to exist with this giant black hole in my heart, where God used to live. I believe a combination of desperation and what I now call grace (an undeserved gift) allowed me to find my recovery at 19 years old – and now can proudly say I have been sober with my 12-Step community now for over 33 years.
To read more, click here to view the full article originally posted on Thrive Global.